Thought Verbs by Chuck Palahniuk

It’s been a long time, this was just passed on to me through Reddit:

A friend in my writing group passed this along to me. A bible of sorts for aspiring writers:

In six seconds, you’ll hate me.
But in six months, you’ll be a better writer.

From this point forward—at least for the next half year—you may not use “thought” verbs. These include: Thinks, Knows, Understands, Realizes, Believes, Wants, Remembers, Imagines, Desires, and a hundred others you love to use.

The list should also include: Loves and Hates.

And it should include: Is and Has, but we’ll get to those later.

Until some time around Christmas, you can’t write: Kenny wondered if Monica didn’t like him going out at night…”

Instead, you’ll have to Un-pack that to something like: “The mornings after Kenny had stayed out, beyond the last bus, until he’d had to bum a ride or pay for a cab and got home to find Monica faking sleep, faking because she never slept that quiet, those mornings, she’d only put her own cup of coffee in the microwave. Never his.”

Instead of characters knowing anything, you must now present the details that allow the reader to know them. Instead of a character wanting something, you must now describe the thing so that the reader wants it.

Instead of saying: “Adam knew Gwen liked him.” You’ll have to say: “Between classes, Gwen had always leaned on his locker when he’d go to open it. She’d roll her eyes and shove off with one foot, leaving a black-heel mark on the painted metal, but she also left the smell of her perfume. The combination lock would still be warm from her butt. And the next break, Gwen would be leaned there, again.”

In short, no more short-cuts. Only specific sensory detail: action, smell, taste, sound, and feeling.

Typically, writers use these “thought” verbs at the beginning of a paragraph (In this form, you can call them “Thesis Statements” and I’ll rail against those, later). In a way, they state the intention of the paragraph. And what follows, illustrates them.

For example:

“Brenda knew she’d never make the deadline. Traffic was backed up from the bridge, past the first eight or nine exits. Her cell phone battery was dead. At home, the dogs would need to go out, or there would be a mess to clean up. Plus, she’d promised to water the plants for her neighbor…”

Do you see how the opening “thesis statement” steals the thunder of what follows? Don’t do it.
If nothing else, cut the opening sentence and place it after all the others. Better yet, transplant it and change it to: Brenda would never make the deadline.

Thinking is abstract. Knowing and believing are intangible. Your story will always be stronger if you just show the physical actions and details of your characters and allow your reader to do the thinking and knowing. And loving and hating.

Don’t tell your reader: “Lisa hated Tom.”

Instead, make your case like a lawyer in court, detail by detail.

Present each piece of evidence. For example:

“During roll call, in the breath after the teacher said Tom’s name, in that moment before he could answer, right then, Lisa would whisper-shout ‘Butt Wipe,’ just as Tom was saying, ‘Here’.”

One of the most-common mistakes that beginning writers make is leaving their characters alone. Writing, you may be alone. Reading, your audience may be alone. But your character should spend very, very little time alone. Because a solitary character starts thinking or worrying or wondering.

For example: Waiting for the bus, Mark started to worry about how long the trip would take…”

A better break-down might be: “The schedule said the bus would come by at noon, but Mark’s watch said it was already 11:57. You could see all the way down the road, as far as the Mall, and not see a bus. No doubt, the driver was parked at the turn-around, the far end of the line, taking a nap. The driver was kicked back, asleep, and Mark was going to be late. Or worse, the driver was drinking, and he’d pull up drunk and charge Mark seventy-five cents for death in a fiery traffic accident…”

A character alone must lapse into fantasy or memory, but even then you can’t use “thought” verbs or any of their abstract relatives.

Oh, and you can just forget about using the verbs Forget and Remember.

No more transitions such as: “Wanda remembered how Nelson used to brush her hair.”

Instead: “Back in their sophomore year, Nelson used to brush her hair with smooth, long strokes of his hand.”

Again, Un-pack. Don’t take short-cuts.

Better yet, get your character with another character, fast. Get them together and get the action started. Let their actions and words show their thoughts. You—stay out of their heads.

And while you’re avoiding “thought” verbs, be very wary about using the bland verbs “is” and “have.”

For example:

“Ann’s eyes are blue.”

“Ann has blue eyes.”

Versus:

“Ann coughed and waved one hand past her face, clearing the cigarette smoke from her eyes, blue eyes, before she smiled…”

Instead of bland “is” and “has” statements, try burying your details of what a character has or is, in actions or gestures. At its most basic, this is showing your story instead of telling it.
And forever after, once you’ve learned to Un-pack your characters, you’ll hate the lazy writer who settles for: “Jim sat beside the telephone, wondering why Amanda didn’t call.”

Please. For now, hate me all you want, but don’t use thought verbs. After Christmas, go crazy, but I’d bet money you won’t.

(…)

For this month’s homework, pick through your writing and circle every “thought” verb. Then, find some way to eliminate it. Kill it by Un-packing it.

Then, pick through some published fiction and do the same thing. Be ruthless.

“Marty imagined fish, jumping in the moonlight…”

“Nancy recalled the way the wine tasted…”

“Larry knew he was a dead man…”

Find them. After that, find a way to re-write them. Make them stronger.

That’s the Sound of Shit Hitting Fans

I’ve lived in Houston most of my life and there’s been various degrees of racial tension over the course of my life. I tend to not be as easily offended by things that happen as other blacks I know. I feel that many of them are being irrational much of the time.

The Trayvon Martin killing isn’t one of those times. I’m a firm believer in gun rights and being able to protect one’s self and your own property. But once you go out following people around and getting out of your car where you think dangerous people might be I feel like you’re getting into vigilante territory. When you shoot someone for a situation that you escalated after being told to lay off by police dispatchers I feel like there needs to be more investigation done than just letting the shooter go free.

George Zimmerman wasn’t tested for drugs or even arrested. Nothing was done until forty-four days after the fact. That’s odd. Contrast that with the man who shot too minorities here in Houston defending his neighbor’s house. I supported that man and he had his day in court and was let off without jail time. But he didn’t seem to be trying to run from what he did.

993604_783193672625_508761769_nAdd to that the supporters of Zimmerman being often times strangely excited and proclaiming that a seventeen year old deserved to die for hitting someone who had followed him (which could be seen as a threat). I hate to scream racism, because people so often accuse blacks of doing just that in any situation. But it seems peculiar how little was done in the early stages by the police. It seems odd that some of the evidence that could have gone either way was presented one way because the one survivor of the confrontation said it worked out like that.

Back to what I said about Houston. We’re not a riot/looting/protesting city. Our Police will shoot you. Doesn’t matter what race, age or socioeconomic class. They’ve got huge, giant, goliath balls. The kind of balls that gods think of as large. So when I heard there were protestors blocking 288 today with a casket screaming for justice I got worried. I feel like this has been a long time coming. Racism isn’t going to go away because we deny that it happens. We can’t continued to have two justice systems. We can’t continue to let states like Florida use racism to grade students and turn a blind eye.

Why should the color of my skin make people think I’m less valuable, less intelligent, less worthy of a chance?

It’s just bullshit.

It’s Past Time That I Take The Time

Austin-skylineI’ve been putting off writing in this for a little while now and to be honest it’s just had to do with my mood about certain things. Between relationship trouble, missing friends and trying to decide what next there hasn’t been much time for me to really clear my head and do this very much.

In the last few days I have been driven to do something about my writing. The attitude I am taking with Keep Austin Safe is that I need to shit or get off the pot. But I need to do so with some kind of reasoning and the like. I want to write something that I am proud of, that’s entertaining and that I can one day sell. So I am scrapping the clunky origin story for something far more original and something that I’ve wanted to do for a long time.

I’m going to continue to write the fan fiction pieces because I hate not finishing them when people are reading my stuff by the thousands per month. It’s a good leap off point if I ever decide to self promote and they’re also fun. But I need to realize that without someone else checking over them and hard core editing them they’re never going to be up to the quality that I truly want them to be.

When it comes to the main novel story, I am leaving that on the back burner for right now. So much of it depends on Austin.