A co-worker said something along the lines of “It’s a shame when I can’t say hi to a girl without them going on the defensive.”

iStock_000005012679XSmallI had told a story about the reason why I don’t take people’s numbers off Facebook without permission. Maybe some of them put it there as a friendly gesture and for you to just take it. But I had a bad experience where a girl cursed me out for doing just that after I had known her for years and after she had said she was giving me her number and that she forgot.

Our way of dealing with social situations is shaped by the interactions we’ve had in the past. It’s kind of funny that this post became more meaningful because of an interaction I had after I had written half of it.

So, I’ve tinkered with this and changed what I was saying now because I’m kind of stunned by how different people can view themselves and how they can view others. Not going to say any names or even give the situation context, despite the fact that they’ll never read this. I feel like there’s a certain level of caution that it’s best to err on the side of when dealing with others for the first time. Trust has to be earned and friendships built and sometimes tested. And relationships aren’t usually going to work if they go from zero to sixty right off the bat.

There are of course instances where people get lucky and make life long friends based on something simple and silly. Or where couples meet in the most dubious of circumstances and stay married for sixty years. But it’s not the norm.

All I’m trying to say is we need to find a happy medium for how we let the lessons we learn affect us.

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