Like it or not, one state in the union has brought back death by firing squad and, as liberal as I seem to be, I’m super fine with it.

Here’s the thing: if we’re going to kill people we need to make sure to do three things. Make it affordable; Leave the body in a state where the organs can be donated; finally, we need to make sure that before we kill anyone we’re absolutely sure that they did it. Seriously, a lot of cases have been high profile lately for coming up being false convictions. One man spent thirty-nine years in jail only to be awarded one million dollars after he sued the state.

Really, we need to make sure as few innocent people go to prison as possible, but that’s another story.

So, Utah is going to be kicking it old school with shooting squads, but there’s one important question nobody is asking. Why the fuck are we using actual people to fire the bullets . I mean, the state goes through this weird tradition where they issue all but one man real bullets. The person who doesn’t get bullets is firing blanks, but no one knows who that person really is. This is meant to give them a clear conscious about killing someone.

My problem with all of this is more that you’re wasting time trying to figure out how to have people do something that no person actually needs to. Meet this thing:


What the fuck is that thing? I don’t know either. It looks like it could be automated and there’s a camera up top. If you can program robots to catch balls and recover from being pushed you can give this little tank robot facial recognition software and program it to shoot someone in the face. I doubt the robot will ever feel guilty or know what it is doing. It also wouldn’t get cold feet and botch the shot, hitting vital organs that could be donated.

All of this talk about the men pulling the trigger just pulls to me that law makers are still thinking with old fashion mindsets, not because they want to dispatch of people quickly, but because they’re still so set on doing everything the old way.

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