ljxgy8tgqqllxssvyl6wIt’s been talked about to death, but Aryan Michael Cera over here raped a woman who was so unconscious that the witnesses who saved her had to inform her of what had happened (the Aryan Michael Cera comment is courtesy of Brent Black from the podcast Trends Like These). Though he was caught in the act by two witnesses there are those out there still doubting that it was actual rape. There are some blaming her for being too drunk to defend herself; citing that if she didn’t actually have the ability to say no, that she didn’t. Then there are those who feel like if she doesn’t actually remember it, it couldn’t have hurt her that bad…

We so many of these cases crop up all over the nation. Colleges have taken the spotlight because it’s one of the first places that we as young people are tasked with looking after ourselves and being on our own. It’s one of the first places where things like this have a chance of happening. I remember back in 2004 when they brought us into a dimly lit stadium classrooms at University of Texas At San Antonio to tell us about the dangers of sexual assault and how to use the buddy system and how to stay safe.

And I remember just as distinctly the way in which I thought of the small play dramatization put on by the theater department: “This isn’t for me.” “This doesn’t happen to men.”

It does and it goes under reported if studies are to be believed, but what no one said in that half hour or so while we set in that chilly room was that it’s not alright to ply or coerce people for sex. It’s not alright to drug drinks. No one ever tried to tell us what consent was or how to ask permission. Everything was completely reactionary. It’s up to you to watch out for yourself and if you slip up or get tricked it’s your own fault.

That’s the subtle message there, though it wasn’t the message for me.

We can look back at all of the cases of a promising athlete or regular guy who was supposedly falsely accused of rape and try and put ourselves in their shoes, but you know what I don’t want to live in a world where rape is assumed to be the victim’s fault or them lying to get over.

I’m sure that any decent human being would be.

 

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